I've got to admit that I am one of those people's who sneaks into the self-help book section in the bookstore from time to time. I can't help but love reading about tips on how to decrease stress, increase happiness, and find my "passion" in life. There's just something so encouraging about reading self-help books. They cause me to feel empowered to take control of my own life. I feel as though the general theme of most self-help books is that it isn't life's circumstances that determines happiness - it is your attitude that will help lead you to a happier, more successful life.

The book that instantly popped into my mind was "He's Just Not That Into You" by Greg Behrendt. I think that nearly every woman of my generation has either read this book or at least heard of it. It isn't just the book itself that has become popular - it is the general attitude conveyed that has really transformed the way women view relationships, men, and even themselves. Let me explain.

The basic premise of the book is that if a man does (or does not do) A, B, or C, then he simply is not interested in you. Plain and simple. This concept revolutionized the way women think about dating and relationships. At the same time, Behrendt made it a point to speak to women readers as though they were way too good for this sort of treatment. He refers to the reader as "hot stuff" and "super fox" (corny, I know...but effective!). It causes the woman to feel empowered because she can now pick up on these ques from men, avoid being hurt, and move on as her sexy, confident self to find someone who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated. That's why this book has become so enormously popular and was even turned into a movie. Up until Behrendt revealed this straightforward, simple, "just the way it is" mentality, women would constantly make up excuses and exceptions as to why men treated them certain ways. We just needed someone to show us the light, so to speak.

"He's Just Not That Into You" conveys almost all of the messages that Gauntlett believes is present in women's self-help books: it gives a planned approach to specific life problems (don't waste your time with that loser if he doesn't call you), self-esteem is important (you super fox, you!), don't make excuses (he is NOT intimidated by you, he just doesn't like you), and women have "no problems inside as long as they can be confident; with self-assurance and a positive approach...anything can be achieved" (p. 245). Wow, I could swear that Behrendt read that list before writing his book, haha!

I think that self-help books in general are a good thing for our society. There certainly can be a danger if the author is making unhealthy prescriptions *cough* Oprah and her "new age-ness" *cough* or purposely trying to make bank on people's insecurities (which, I assume is unfortunately an all-too-common occurance). But we as humans are constantly seeking to improve our lives and our happiness, and if self-help books can help achieve that, well than I'm all for it.